Welcome to modern-day mumming!
Person: “You can’t give your toddler the iPad every time you want her to sit and eat, what are you going to do when you’re out?”
Me: “Erm… yes I can.” (As if I would leave the house without some form of technology).
I have been reminded several times that there were no iPads or tablets when I was little and that our parents still got us to sit down and eat (Great. Good for them. A round of applause for all the ‘real’ parents 🙄).
But I have both a baby and a mighty toddler to feed. So if the only way for us to sail through meal time without any tears (usually my own) is to hypnotise my daughter with YouTube videos of surprise egg unwrapping; then so be it. It is a means to an end. And quite frankly I do not have time to beg, bribe and battle over every mouthful. My children eat and that is all that matters to me. Technology is a bloody godsend.
The downside to letting her watch these “surprise egg” videos is that the 6 pack of Kinder eggs is now a staple on my shopping list and lord help me if I forget to buy them. They are the answer to absolutely everything. For example:
Me: “Look what i’ve got!”
Toddler: “‘prise egg?”
(was actually a banana, sh*t! abort mission!)
Me: “What would you like to do today?”
Toddler: “‘prise egg?”
Toddler: “I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME!!” (Oh crap. It’s about to go down. People are looking.)
Me: “…………………’prise egg?”
These days, one wrong move could result in a terrible-twos style scream fest where only the offering of an egg can restore peace. Not to mention that I now have what seems like 3,000,000 tiny plastic toys spread around house (always fun to step on). Its got to the point now where I just Hoover them up.
There are days when two Kinder eggs are requested. In which case, I’ve managed to get my daughter to agree to only having the second toy and not the chocolate. I don’t want her teeth to fall out. I have subsequently discovered that I can fit a whole Kinder egg in my mouth.
As much as I hate to admit it, stuffing chocolate down my throat has become a normality since having my son. The cravings I get are out of this world and I have been told:
“It’s because you are breastfeeding, eat what you want.”
I have come to realise that the real reason for these overwhelming cravings, is actually sleep deprivation. Waking up every 2 hours or less for the last 5 months really takes its toll. The only way my body can claw its way through the entire day, is sugar, sugar and more sugar.
This explains why I’m not loosing any weight and in turn have not yet rescued my pre-pregnancy clothes from the vacuum bags under the bed. Thank god the ‘leggings and trainers’ look is still in fashion. Because 5 months after giving birth; I am still wearing my maternity leggings. Every. Single. Day. I throw them on under pretty much any top or dress and I’m still tender from my emergency c-section so anything under my tummy is still a big no-no at this point.
Sometimes, it does feel like I am just blagging my way through life as a mum. Who isn’t? No one has the handbook. In this moment, I just have to remind myself that my daughter will grow out of the tantrum phase. My son will grow out of the night feed phase. And I will grow out of the fatty phase…
This motherhood thing is tough, so don’t let anyone judge your parenting (or fashion) choices. Use the tools that work for you and your family and take each day as it comes.